Once upon a time, in those happy, clappy carefree years BM (before marriage) we all used to have season tickets at Leeds Road. Part of the masochistic ritual of being a Town fan was to take in at least one away game per season. These occassions, awaydays to near-neighbours (Bradford, Sheffield, Barnsley), journeys into the unknown (Bristol, Stoke) or expeditions into deepest, darkest Lancashire (Oldham, Rochdale) were all unique experiences; exciting and terrifying in equal measures and never, ever disappointing.
It was the spirit of these old times which took us to
Hartlepool Working Men's Club, 12 May 2007
We approached the venue with trepidation; it resembles those "secure facilities" the BBC reporters in Baghdad broadcast from - thick, brick-proof glazing and surrounded by an 8-foot high steel fence; "Toto, I don't think we're in Gledholt anymore."
Fortunately, we found some familiar, friendly faces in the hall and settled down for a night of high jinx and laughter.
"Eyes down for a full house!"
Oh dear. Albert Haller the Bingo Caller has been booked as support act.
Someone cracked a joke.
Someone laughed.
"A little order, please!"
The command was issued in the same tone of voice (albeit different accent) I last heard about 20 years ago when a 7'6" biker in a Glasgow eastend pub told me I'd spilled his pint. I didn't argue then and I'm considerably slower and less pissed these days.
We shut up.
The band played their first set to a generally receptive if not exactly enthusiastic audience. Old Albert, doing his best impression of that guy in the Wheeltappers' and Shunters' Social Club (I'm not the only one who remembers that, right?) had said that they'd be playing for 30 minutes, but thankfully, that message hadn't reached the guys who gave us a normal-length mix of Journey, Jovi, Aerosmith and Boston before a really good and appropriately-spaced-out-feeling Comfortably Numb.
As soon as the stage was clear, Albert was at it again.
How long? Half an hour? I don't know, I'd lost the will to live.
They do take their bingo seriously in Hartlepool.
The second set opened and I was surprised at the number of unlikely-looking people who were word-perfect in Journey-ese; don't judge a rocker by her floral-patterned Etam dress, I guess.
The dance floor was kept full with G'n'R, Free, Bad Company and Bon Jovi numbers and a number of requests were being passed to Dave B by now; happy birthdays, happy anniversaries etc. I must confess, I wanted one of them to say "Can you play The Crystal Chandeliers" but the only surprise was the jammed version of Smoke On The Water the boys knocked out.
Special credit to Dave R here - his, erm, improvised lyric probably went un-noticed among the drinking hoards. How can someone with so much hair not know the words to Smoke...?
A somewhat curtailed Adagio led into Rock'n'Roll and ...Rosie as usual; a rockin' good end to an interesting night.
Nice to know away matches are still fun.
